The Stoics had a famous image for this concept: a dog tied to a moving cart.

If the dog walks along willingly, it still goes where the cart goes, but keeps its agency intact.

If it digs in its heels and resists, it goes to the same place anyway, only now it's choking and hacking the whole way there (with all of its agency focused on moot resistance rather than on what it can choose as it goes along).

We are the dog, and time is the cart.

The Stoic view of Fate isn't fatalism.

We're not being asked to give up agency. We still have our paddle, as we sit in our little canoe (to borrow from my book) navigating the river of time.

We still get to choose how we move down the river, how we treat people we pass, how we respond to what happens as the weather and current changes.

What we don't get to choose is whether time passes, whether a storm descends upon us, whether there are rough rapids up ahead, or whether sharp rocks will wreck our little boat.

The only real question is: do navigate these un-choose-ables in an agency-forward way, or do we waste our energy being furious that things happen in life that we wish didn’t happen in life?

Most of us spend a remarkable amount of time being angry at our cart… err… our canoe.

Today's suggestion: When something today doesn't go to plan (and I promise, something won't) try noticing the moment of resistance. Then ask: "Am I fighting the cart right now?" If so, consider focusing your agency on what you’re able to choose as you walk alongside reality.