The Stoics were clear that wrongdoing damages the person who commits it, not just the person on the receiving end. When someone treats us badly (lies to us, dismisses us, takes credit for our work), they've done something to their own character. They've made themselves worse. They’ve done nothing to us or our character.

Epictetus asks: given this truth, why would we then go and do the same thing to ourselves?

Retaliation feels like justice. It feels like balance being restored. But from a Stoic perspective, the score isn't between us and the other person it's between us and our own character. The moment we respond with the same dishonesty, the same pettiness, the same cruelty, we’ve handed them a second victory: we’ve let their behaviour set the standard for our own.

The person who wronged us has already paid a price (in the only currency that matters to the Stoics, which is virtue). Matching their behaviour doesn't recover what we lost. It just means we’ve paid the same price for nothing.